A deadlock!
Again a horrible Saturday.. glitches started from late night while returning from a marriage party. Mood started swelling because of total mismanagement in the function. We couldn't get a good pic also however we maintained our cool until we took crossed that golambar. My cloths were heavy and I was feeling very suffocated. I switched on AC to feel comfortable. Within a few minutes, Bhagya angrily objected as she was feeling cold. This small incident triggered me and after heated arguments for a moment, I got down from the Car and marched to home leaving her there only. Ladli was waiting for us because Bhagya had asked her to make our small video for reel. Ladli enquired about Bhagya and after she got to know what happened she politely asked me to take Chhoti Didi back to home. I was not in my control because of the entire hustle bustle since last few months. I pretended to be sleepy and laid down like a dead body.
Today, the day started with last night memories. It was the third consecutive day when I couldn't wake up in early morning as I planned. A disturbed sleep always turned out to be a more disturbed morning. With the help of Ladli, changed my SIM card and injected my office SIM in my android and shifted my SIM to my classic phone set.
Meanwhile Papa honked. It added fuel to the fire as I wanted peace and space. I need space but his presence disallow our comfort. Presence of a third person always keep us on standby. There should always be a safe distance in relation. Visiting your daughter's "house", where she stays with her husband not only takes their time which otherwise could've been utilised by them fruitfully but also it makes the entire environment tense as the relationship combination is formal.
Anyways, I left home without having a drop of water. As soon as I step out of the room, Papa was there and I touched his feet. After a very brief chat I left. He offered to drop me somewhere but I refused politely.
With a very heavy heart and disturbed mind, I started approaching Panchmukhi Mandir but in the midway saw a Chhole Bhature outlet and decided to go for it. It was a punishment I was giving to me. I was neither enjoying it nor I had a company to share what I was going through. My memory was carrying a lot of garbage that stuck my thinking process and I was always struggling to find a solution however I failed all the times.
Anyways, I had only 70 rupees in my wallet. A few days back I was having good amount of money in my wallet but I don't know how it vanished one by one. I thought to make a payment through online to save money for bus tickets and other expenses. I realised a blunder at that point of time when my online payment stuck due to SIM reshuffle in the morning. Good luckily I had 70 cash in my wallet and I paid cash and just moved on. I was frightened, scared, nervous, frustrated and ultimately left out. All my stars, zodiac, numbers and fate were against me, I was told by many astrologers in last couple of years. I skipped deadly accidents, countered extremely painful situations, embarrassing phase, illusions, damage, betrayal and everything. I knew I couldn't win this battle with fate still I was trying to survive. Just to survive even if severely injured. If I don't survive, Bhagya and Kids will have to pay huge cost. My life briefly belong to them.
I thought for a moment and called Ladli to tell about things honestly. She guided me to a nearby ATM. The story took another turn when I checked my balance. It was 495.67/-. It was displayed to screen that only 500 or multiplication of 500 amount can be withdrawn. I tried to withdraw 400 twice but it didn't work. Leaving with no options, I dialled her again and asked her to send some money. She had only 20 rupees in account but she had no idea her 20 rupees worth millions for me that time. I was running late for Araria and I had neither cash nor online payment and the situation was so complicated that I wouldn't have asked anyone. She sent 10 or 20 which enabled me to withdraw 500 from my account. I rushed to Bus Stand and took a bus finally.
This day to day struggle has been going on since my childhood and perhaps it'll go till I breathe.
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