An Office

                                       

                            The Man, the Office and the Lost Legacy

For the last eight to nine years that I have been working in this office, I have known my reporting officer, who later became my reviewing officer, as a man with a strong sense of self-respect and an unmistakable attitude.

I have rarely seen him attending events where private individuals might offer hospitality or favours in return for certain considerations. In fact, he would often decline invitations even when he was personally invited and nominate one of us to attend instead.

I vividly remember an occasion when I brought something for him. He gave me a rather stern look and said, "Ye sab karne ki zarurat nahi hai. Bas jo tumhara kaam hai, woh sahi se karo." That one response told me a lot about the kind of person he was.

Our office has two distinct wings: News and Programming. In Programming, I had witnessed instances of corruption and had also heard accounts of it from several people. But when it came to the News section, I had placed my trust in this man.

He could be arrogant at times, short-tempered on some occasions and perhaps even egoistic. But in all these years, I never found him dishonest or greedy. If he carried himself with such confidence while dealing with people, perhaps the foundation of that confidence was his integrity.

During the Covid pandemic, I would often send him PDFs of newspapers and magazines. On one occasion, his wife and children visited an Aadhaar Kendra for some work, and I paid for the service. The very next day, he returned the money to me. It may have been a small amount, but the gesture was significant. He was, to some extent or to all extent, my mentor for a long period of time. His logics guided me in my tough times.

I had observed him closely on several occasions, and every such experience added to my impression of him. Once, he attended an event with his family, where his wife's purse was stolen in Navi Mumbai. The purse was eventually traced, and I went to retrieve it from a stranger. When I saw its condition and the articles inside, they spoke volumes about his family's lifestyle. I was genuinely impressed.

He was someone who knew how to save money. He would explore every possible way to economise, use his skills and experience to avoid unnecessary expenditure, and even advise others to do the same. A casual guy was respectully pulled up by him because he got an i-Phone. Things apart, what impressed me most was that I never saw him compromise his dignity or lower himself before anyone out of a sense of obligation.

Over the years, I may have disagreed with his temperament, his manner of speaking or the way he dealt with people. But I could never bring myself to question his honesty. And perhaps that is the most important distinction: a person need not always be likeable to command respect. Sometimes, it is the integrity with which one conducts oneself that leaves the deepest impression.

There was another reason why my respect for him went beyond his professional conduct. He was the person who stood by me when I was falsely accused by his own PA, who happens to be a woman. At a time when the allegation could have put me in a difficult position, he understood the situation and ensured that I was not made a victim of a false accusation. He could have easily chosen to remain indifferent or sided with his own staff member. But he didn't. He stood by what he believed was right. That incident strengthened my faith in him, not merely as an officer but as someone who valued fairness over personal equations.

Today, it has been almost a month since he was transferred to another wing in a different office. And perhaps it is only after his departure that I have begun to realise how much his presence meant to the working environment of the News section.

The new Deputy Director, who has taken charge, was once his Assistant. However, her leadership abilities have often been a subject of concern among colleagues. Her arrogance, tendency to conceal her own mistakes while holding others accountable for theirs, and the manner in which she deals with people have frequently made the workplace uncomfortable.

I have had my own share of unpleasant experiences with her. There have been several occasions when I felt unfairly treated and humiliated.

I remember one particular incident when she failed to take a call, while I was already on my way to an assignment in a local train. Apparently, there was some miscommunication. Instead of resolving it, she posted a message in our WhatsApp group declaring that the day would be treated as my Week Off and that I should return. By then, I had already travelled for nearly one and a half hours. I had to turn back and repeat the entire journey, accepting what was effectively an unplanned day off. What made it particularly disturbing was that I had done nothing wrong. The situation had arisen because of a communication failure and her inability to take a call. Yet, I was the one who had to bear the consequences. 

I witnessed a similar pattern on another occasion involving the media pass for Lalbaugcha Raja. She failed to take an important call regarding the pass, but instead of acknowledging the lapse, she shifted the blame onto others. Such incidents were not isolated. I repeatedly observed her making excuses whenever something went wrong, finding someone else to hold responsible rather than accepting her own mistakes. What troubled me was not the fact that mistakes happened; everyone makes mistakes. It was the apparent unwillingness to own them. For someone in a leadership position, I believe the ability to acknowledge one's mistakes is as important as the authority to point out mistakes made by others.

Unfortunately, this was not an isolated experience. Similar situations occurred on multiple occasions, each in a different form.

More recently, I was deployed to Nashik from 30 October to 1 November for official coverage of the Kumbh preparations. Late in the evening on 31 October, she posted a message in the group declaring the following day as my Week Off. I was taken aback. I had planned to return from Nashik, report to the office and take my scheduled Week Off on 2 November. I did not contest the decision because she was in charge, and I did not want another confrontation.

Perhaps what bothers me most is not merely the individual incidents but the larger question of how authority is exercised in a workplace. A person occupying a leadership position has the power to make an employee's professional life either dignified or unnecessarily difficult. Unfortunately, I have often felt that power being exercised without sufficient sensitivity or fairness.

And then came today.

I am told that she was on leave. However, I came across a photograph of her at the Chief Minister's residence, where several other reporters had apparently been invited for the Diwali gift distribution.

I don't know the circumstances of the invitation, nor do I wish to jump to conclusions about anyone's personal or professional engagements. But the sight brought back memories of my former Director.

In all these years, I had rarely, if ever, seen him participating in such gatherings. He maintained a certain distance, dignity and decorum associated with the office he held. He never appeared eager to seek proximity to people in positions of power or to be seen at gatherings that could create an impression of personal obligation. At least, that was the impression he left on me.

Perhaps I am comparing two very different approaches to professional life. But the contrast is difficult to ignore.

The man I once considered arrogant, short-tempered and difficult to deal with had, in his own way, established a standard. A standard of professional distance, self-respect and, above all, personal integrity. And today, I feel that the legacy he left behind has been compromised.

What hurts is that I cannot do much about it. I can disagree, I can feel disturbed, I can question decisions in my own mind, but ultimately, I have to work under the existing arrangement.

For the first time in a long while, I am feeling genuinely helpless.

The office will perhaps never be the same again. With each passing day, the sense of suffocation is becoming harder to bear. I don't know how long I can continue working in an environment that increasingly feels so unsettling. For now, all I can do is wait and hope that the day comes when I finally find myself free from this place and the burden it has begun to feel like.