Diary

After UPSC-IIS and UGC-NET, BPSC-DPRO has also become a missed opportunity. Sigh!!

Travelling three hours in packed Mumbai Local daily in scorching heat and other difficulties is now unbearable. Getting random calls and managing financial expenses are giving another reason to get depressed. Competitive exams have many conditions, one such condition is age-limit. What to do and where to go! Working continuously in Doordarshan from last one decade has given a lot of things but also snatched vital happiness from my life. There's no leave in festivals, no confirmed week-offs, no social security, no confirm sitting chair is alloted and at the end no respect being a contractual.

If I am asked why I am regretting for not having a permanent job, my only answer would be job security. It's true that the quality of job I want cannot be provided by any of the exams I appeared still I want them to get myself settled in real sense.

I don't want to spend my life along with my family in Bihar so literally I should not be worried for losing BPSC-DPRO but that job could have given me an opportunity to remain in touch with my parents. Papa and Mummy need me in these hours but I cannot be with them. Having government job in Bihar would also have provided me respect which I have never ever received in my Doordarshan days yet. On Hindi Diwas, I couldn't participate in Essay competition because I was a contractual, similarly many such incidents happened.

In UGC-NET, I could have had a tag.

Even in UPSC - IIS, I would have become a Babu. A person, responsible for promotion of government. Seriously! I didn't find any satisfaction in that job also but UPSC is a brand and having a government job is the need of the hour.